Inspiration for writing Canal Shark vs Cycloptopus.
Projects, Sundry

Maven Tells a Story

To celebrate my upcoming birthday I thought that we’d do something really different. I have no plans to make this type of post a regular thing here, but I thought it would be fun. I’m going to share a story with you. It is a fictional work and was something written on a dare.

A couple years ago during lunch at work, a group of us were having a conversation about the recent popularity of sharks in movies. This evolved into a challenge for me to write the most over the top movie script I could think of involving a shark. I was given a working title and a week later revealed my creation over lunch.

I know this won’t be everyone’s cut of tea, but I present for your reading enjoyment:

Canal Shark vs Cycloptopus

 

Bridge of the Rock Lobster – Night – Captain & First Mate

Captain Melville stands at the helm, starts fidgeting, looks at First Mate and gestures for him to take his place.

Captain Melville

Take over for a while Mate, I’m starved. Gonna make me a snack.

First Mate

Aye aye, Captain

 

Port Side – Night – Captain Melville

Out on the deck, plate in hand eating the fish sticks he’s reheated. Rests his arms on the railing and is eating over the water. Doesn’t notice that as the ship rocks a piece from the plate falls into the water. Once it hits the water there is movement below and bubbles come to the surface. Captain continues to eat unaware. Starts talking to himself.

Captain Melville

What a beautiful night, good fish sticks, stars above, and endless water all around. (makes sweeping arm gesture with arm holding fish stick)

At the same moment water below him stirs and a huge shark jumps out of the water biting off Captain Melville’s arm. Captain Melville starts screaming and throws the plate at the shark but it is too late, the shark is gone. The crew gathers around the Captain who is lying on the deck. They start administering first aid.

First Mate

Try and control the bleeding, I’ll radio for help.

Captain Melville

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! HE GOT MY FISH STICK!!!!!!!!!

1St Crew Member

Sir, you’ve lost you arm.

Captain Melville

My delicious fish sticks. (Passes out)

2nd Crew Member

He must be in shock. Hang in there Sir, help is on the way.

 

Warehouse on the shore of Silver Lake – Night – Dr. Frank Stine

Warehouse houses a laboratory, tanks of greenish water all around, Dr. Frank Stine is seated at a stainless steel bench with test tubes all around and a beaker on a Bunsen burner, he’s looking into a microscope. His assistant Ivan is on a ladder poking at something in one of the tanks with a long metal rod.

Ivan

Dr. Frank, Patient 692 has died.

Dr. Frank

Hmmmm. That is unfortunate Ivan, dispose of the remains and empty the tank for cleaning. Oh, and Ivan activate the homing device on Project Y, I think I’m ready for the next phase.

 

Hospital – Captain Melville’s Room – Morning – Captain Melville, Audrey Melville, Doctor

Audrey Melville is sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding the Captain’s hand. The Captain is hooked up to various machines and monitors and is sleeping. The doctor walks in holding a clipboard.

Doctor

Mrs. Melville?

Audrey Melville

Yes. How is he Doctor?

Doctor

(Consults his clipboard) He’s lost a lot of blood, Mrs. Melville but his condition has stabilized. He’ll need to be carefully monitored for the next few days; he’s not out of the woods yet. Then in a few months after he has healed we can think about getting him a prosthetic arm, but his sailing days are over Mrs. Melville.

Mrs. Melville starts to cry, the Doctor pats her shoulder and leaves the room.

 

Warehouse Lab – Night – Dr. Frank

Dr. Frank is welding assorted items together, there is a pile of scrap items behind him. Ivan opens the bay door and using a forklift takes a tank with a cover over it off of a flatbed truck. Dr. Frank stops what he is doing and lifts his welding mask.

Ivan

Project Y has arrived.

Dr. Frank smiles

Dr. Frank

Ivan get one of the men to drag the canal for more scrap metal, I’m running low. Let’s go take a look at Project Y shall we.

Ivan

Yes, Dr. Frank.

They walk over to the tank and with a flourish Dr. Frank removes the covering from around the tank reveling a huge shark.

Dr. Frank

Last time that we had Project Y in this building he started out as a normal Great White shark but after some adjustments and a round of steroid treatments he became 10 times more powerful. But that is not good enough if you are looking to create the most fearsome creature known to man. For my next phase I have created an impenetrable suit of armor that I will fuse to the sharks cartilage, making him an unstoppable monster. The last thing that I will do is to give him one last course of steroid treatment, which will also make him more aggressive. Then I will unleash him on the world. What do you think Ivan?

Ivan

I have one question Dr. Frank why go to all the trouble of using items found in the canal, like old cars? Why not new metal?

Dr. Frank

So the armor will act as camouflage, you idiot. It will make sure that the Canal Shark will blend in with his surroundings.

Ivan

Of course, Dr. Frank.

Dr. Frank

Make yourself useful and have the men collect more cars from the canal.

Ivan nods and leaves the room. Dr. Frank stares at the shark in the tank with a pleased look on his face. The shark aggressively rams the side of the tank. Then coughs up Melville’s arm.

Dr. Frank

Soon my pet. Soon.

 

Hospital – Captain Melville’s Room – One Week Later

Captain Melville sits on the side of his bed in a wool sweater and pants looking dejected, his right sleeve is pinned up.

Audrey Melville

Come on Hunny, it’s time to go. I’ve signed all the paperwork. We can go home now and be a family again.

Captain Melville

I don’t want to go home and be a landlubber woman, I want to go back to the sea! (He mutters) And get that shark.

Audrey Melville

No more talk about sharks. You read the report the crew made of the accident. You weren’t watching where you were going you slipped on the deck got and your arm caught in a rope attached to a pot trap, which you kicked into the water when you fell and the rope tightened and pulled off your arm.

Captain Melville

IT WAS A SHARK, WOMAN!!!!!

Audrey Melville is upset and her eyes water, she picks up his suitcase and walks towards the door.

Audrey Melville

I’ll be waiting downstairs in the car. Come down when you’re ready.

He blows her off with a hand motion and when she’s gone picks up his wool toque from the night table and takes his pipe out of the drawer.

Captain Melville

I don’t need to put up with her blubbering. I need a drink.

Leaves the hospital room.

 

Canalside Tavern – Night

It’s late the bar is getting ready to close. The bartender is cleaning the counter and putting up bar stools for the night. Captain Melville is one of the last patrons in the bar; he’s visibly drunk and having a hard time staying awake.

Bartender

Cap’n you’ve been here all day, don’t you think it’s time you went home? I’ll call you a cab.

Captain Melville

(Slurring his words) Don’t you do anything of the sort. I’ll tell you when there’s fish in the sea……I out rank you, I’m a Captain. I still got two legs, I’ll walk home.

Bartender just smiles and nods, glad to be rid of him. The Captain waits until the bartenders back is turned and he swipes a bottle from behind the bar, puts it under his arm and stumbles out the door. He goes outside and down along the water. He walks under the bridge, where there is a homeless man making a fire in a metal oil drum. He’s about to put in a newspaper when something catches the Captain’s eye and he snatches out from the homeless mans hands.

Homeless Man

Hey buddy, I was using that.

Captain Melville

(Strikes homeless man with bottle) Get out of here!!!

Terrified the homeless man takes off running. Captain Melville looks at the newspaper the Headline reads “POSSIBLE SHARK SIGHTINGS AFTER ROCK LOBSTER SINKS” the article goes on to read, “The Coast Guard spent twelve hours yesterday searching for survivors after the Rock Lobster sank on Tuesday. They have changed the status of the operation from rescue mission to a recovery mission. No bodies have been recovered as of yet. Local police have received hundreds of panicked phone calls about shark sightings since reports on Wednesday leaked the content of the Rock Lobster’s final distress call. The report mentions that the crew was convinced they were under attack by a giant shark. Police issued a statement today about the, as they refer to them “phony”, shark sightings in the area…”

Captain Melville

Damn shark! First he takes my arm, then he takes my ship!!

Captain Melville puts his back against the bridge supports so he doesn’t lose his balance while drinking from his bottle, he then slides down to the ground and passes out.

 

Warehouse Lab – Night – Dr. Frank and Ivan

Dr. Frank is again working at his desk in the lab, pouring over documents and consulting textbooks.

Ivan

Dr. Frank?

Dr. Frank

I’m busy Ivan.

Ivan

You told me to let you know when the Rock Lobster was recovered…..

Dr. Frank

I’m waiting Ivan.

Ivan

Pieces of the ship have been washing up on shore, sir. Nothing larger has been recovered and still no bodies have been found.

Dr. Frank

Very good. Now leave me to my work Ivan.

Ivan leaves.

 

Under the bridge – Night – Captain Melville

Captain Melville is still passed out with and the oil drum fire is still going. He’s talking in his sleep in between snoring.

Captain Melville

Fish sticks…….mmmmmm…….my arm……..open water…..shark….SHARK…….FISH STICKS……

A group of young teens sneak up with sticks in their hand one is also carrying a bottle of dish soap. They get closer and closer to Captain Melville until Melville almost shouts himself awake, he drifts off again as the teens get within poking distance. They poke him with the sticks and try and move his lips and eyebrows to make funny faces. One of the kids accidentally pokes his amputation and the Captain jolts awake.

Captain Melville

SHHHHARRRRKKKKKK!!!!!!!

1st Teen

He’s not just drunk he’s crazy. Let’s get out of here.

The kids drop their sticks and run away. Captain picks up his bottle and takes a sip, he puts the sticks in the fire, finds a blanket left behind by the homeless man he chased away and goes back to sleep.

 

Waterfront Park – Night – Group of Young Teens

The teens leave Captain under the bridge and run until they get to a near by park. This was their intended destination; they brought the dish soap to pour into the fountain in the park. It is a monument dedicated to everyone who died while the Canal was being built.

1st Teen

Watch this. Once I pour in this bottle it’s going to be great. Is someone filming this, we’re going to post it on YouTube when we get home.

2nd Teen

Ya, I’m ready.

2nd Teen has his cell phone out and is filming 1st Teen pouring in the bubbles, nothing starts happening right away so 2nd Teen starts panning around to his friends and they make faces at the camera.

1st Teen

Nathan! Stop filming them and film me, you’re going to miss it.

1st Teen takes another bottle out of his backpack and as he’s just about finished the bubbles start rising out of the fountain. The bubbles get out of control and start rising higher and spreading out on to the pavement around the fountain. The teens all take a step back and then they start running around in the bubbles and grab handfuls to shove in each others faces.

Out on the water the surface starts rippling. A pane of car window glass rises out of the water, it’s barely noticeable and it’s heading in the direction of the shore.

Back on land the Teens are still in the park running around. 2nd Teen is still filming he hears a noise behind him and turns around looking out on the water. 1st Teen catches him.

1st Teen

Hey, Nathan the action is back this way.

2nd Teen

I thought I heard something.

1st Teen

It’s probably just that drunk under the bridge taking a leak.

2nd Teen

Ya, you’re right. (He turns to start filming the fountain when he hears the sound again) Have you guys heard about the shark everyone keeps seeing? (He looks out to the water again, unsure)

1st Teen

Why are you scared? (The other boys laugh)

2nd Teen

No. I just thought why are we wasting our time filming this sissy fountain when we could be getting a film of that shark.

1st Teen

I don’t know if that’s a good idea. My dad is a Coast Guard. Whatever happened to the Rock Lobster has him spooked.

2nd Teen

Now who’s scared? (The other boys laugh)

1st Teen

Fine, you think you’re so tough. I’ll go in and be shark bait. Make sure you’re filming this.

1st Teen gets into the water, he wades out but it gets deep fast and he loses his footing, goes under. The boys waiting on shore hold their breath until 1st Teen’s head bobs up again. He floats on his back and starts kicking his legs on the surface, making lots of splashing.

1st Teen

See nothing to be scared of.

1st Teen swims out farther and splashes some more, 2nd Teen is still filming.

1st Teen

This is boring. I’m getting out. (He stops and treads water) Something just swam past me.

3rd Teen

Come on. We’re not going to fall for that.

1st Teen

I’m serious. (He starts swimming furiously for shore) It’s got…. (His head goes under)

1st Teen doesn’t come back up and his friends start to look at each other with worried faces.

2nd Teen

Stop it. We’re not falling for it.

3rd Teen

Do you think we should help him?

2nd Teen

He’s just joking around, we go in the water and then he’s going to pop up and start laughing about the looks on our faces.

3rd Teen

I don’t know. He’s been under a long time.

3rd Teen goes down to the shore and the Canal Shark comes up and bites him in half. The rest of the boys are paralyzed until one of them shouts for them to run. They try and get away but the Canal Shark is just too fast, he lands on one crushing him while he uses his tail to send another flying into the fountain monument on which he cracks his skull open. 2nd Teen is still trying to get away, he trips over some raised roots in a flower bed and falls, as he to gets up he sees lights come on behind him. Hopeful that someone has come to save him he turns around only to find out that the Canal Shark has headlight eyes and he’s turned them on to get a better look at his prey. (This scene gives a good view of the Canal Shark and all of his new body armor made from salvaged car parts.) 2nd Teen tries to walk backward and trips over the same tree root again, he drops his phone and it tumbles under a bush. The Canal Shark pounces.

 

Under the Bridge – Morning – Captain Melville

Captain Melville is asleep under the bridge. He has the blanket pulled up and a newspaper over his face. There is a police officer standing over him and he is using the toe of his shoe to nudge the Captain awake. Behind him in the park are groups of uniformed officers, a crime scene crew in white jumpsuits gathering evidence and police cars with flashing lights.

Officer Jefferies

Hey Buddy, wake up.

Captain Melville turns over and the Officer gets a look at his face, he looks surprised. Captain is groggy but waking up.

Officer Jefferies

Sorry Captain. Did you sleep out here all night? You’re wife has been calling the station non-stop, you should go home and let her know you’re ok.

Captain Melville

What business is it of yours what I do, why did you have to wake me up anyway?

Officer Jefferies

Maybe you should come down to the station and sleep it off Captain. We can ask you some questions about what happened in the park last night on the drive over.

Captain Melville

What do you mean? What happened in the park last night?

Officer Jefferies

There was an accident last night in the park. We wanted to know if you saw or heard anything.

Captain Melville

I was passed out right here all night, except when I bunch of kids came through and were poking me with sticks. I scared them off. That’s all I know.

Officer Jefferies

Stay right here Captain, I think my Captain is going to want to hear this.

Captain Melville

What kind of accident happened in the park? Those kids cause trouble? I knew they were up to no good.

Officer Jefferies

Three teens were killed in the park last night and two are missing and presumed dead. It was a brutal attack.

Captain Melville

Shark. Don’t you see, (he picks up yesterdays newspaper off the ground and points to the headline about the Rock Lobster) it was the Canal Shark! CANAL SHARK!!!!!

Officer Jefferies

Ok Captain, no need to get upset, just calm down. (Uses the radio attached to his shoulder, walks away a few paces) Captain I need some assistance under the bridge, I have Captain Melville down here, he needs medical assistance and may need to be restrained. He may also be a suspect.

Captain Melville has stood up and approaches Officer Jefferies from behind holding the now empty liquor bottle. He hits him on the back of the head with it and runs off.

Police officers are coming down the bank, they see Officer Jefferies on the ground and start running. Jefferies is coming around.

Police Officer

Are you alright?

Officer Jefferies

Yes, I’m fine. Put an APB out on Captain Melville. And call his wife, tell her to call us if he shows up there.

Police Officer

Yes sir. (Radio goes off) Sir, there’s been another accident.

Officer Jefferies

What now?

Police Officer

A couple of jet skis were found drifting in the lake. No bodies, no one in sight, but there is a lot of blood.

Officer Jefferies

Let’s head over and take a look.

 

To be continued…..

Join me next week for the exciting conclusion.

 

 

 

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